Summer isn't really a season.

It's true, you know. Summer isn't a season at all. Summer begins with school dismissals, busted up schedules, shaving of heads (or 'hawks, if you live in my house), with flip flops & muscle shirts, sleeping in, and late nights.... Summer is ending. 'Hawks have been cut, shoes are laced, backpacks are packed, alarms are set, and cinnamon rolls are bathed in maple glaze (thank you, Pioneer Woman.)

The earthquake yesterday was scary for us. Scary because we live on the East coast, always have and unlike our western counterparts - we're not used to it. I've never felt anything like it, never want to again! The uncertainty of your house shaking, and not knowing how long it will/could last? Craziness. BUT, that being said - totally gave me one more day of summer with my boys! HA! But, too bad for me, school starts tomorrow. I am excited, of course. My baby boy (!) is going to the big K tomorrow. He'll be gone most hours of the day now, and that's just sad. He's my late year guy, so I had him home a bit longer than Nik or Ethan. We've just had more time. And with his rocky OT/ST start - we've really come a long way, and that's special, too. It will be really hard to see him go. But like I told him tonight, as I said goodnight - what matters most is that you have a great day, and I'll be here when you get home. I'll be here. (with some kind of baked treat, too, because that's how I roll.) Then Nik... 5th grade? Seriously? That's like one grade away from what one friend at Bunco described as "the loss of innocence.". With Alex going to K, I'll have to be anxious about that one later in the school year. Ethan will be in 3rd, and well, I'm just not worried about him. The kid is just like a cat, he always lands on his feet.

Our summer was fantastic! We were out of the house (not just in front of it, but like at somewhere that wasn't our house) EVERY single weekday (and most weekend days) Every! We finished 95% of our list. They still have to purchase the items for a care package (for a ped cancer patient), with their earnings from their lemonade stand. And run a race. We totally rocked summer. I just hope their teacher asks them to write something about what they did this summer. Because we definitely had a summer to write about.

And now my days will be so different, but so the same. I've gone from having all boys home, to ALL girls. Just me, Cece, & Lilah. Oh, the things we will fill our days with. (napping... ahh.)

So, that's it. My alarm is set, my babies are all tucked in and ready to go.

a side note, as a tribute to my laziness

A story about the Tooth Fairy.

Nik's 10, and kinda, sorta still believes. I don't really give him the option to not believe, if that makes sense? So yeah. I've never been good at the whole "get the tooth from under the pillow, leave a dollar" (quarter, nickel, savings bond, whatever.) The nerves of it get to me. What if I got caught? Being that I don't have skillz like a ninja, I wasn't confident in my ability to get the job done. So, since teeth starting dropping, I've made several attempts to get out of it, which led to us having the coolest tooth fairy ever. Our tooth fairy folds the dollars up all awesome, in little footballs, or other random (accidental) shapes. She'll leave them in your shoes, she'll leave them taped to the window in your room, or sometimes she'll leave it in the cup of water your tooth was in. THAT'S RIGHT! The tooth is left out in the open, in a cup of water. It keeps the tooth clean, and alive, until the Tooth fairy can come get it. genius.

Last week, Nik ripped a tooth out (didn't want Alex to lose his before him). I decided to leave the dollar in an unconventional place - under his pillow. So, in the morning he comes down with his dollar, and I said, "Wow! Awesome! Where did she leave it?!" And he says, solemnly "It was just under the pillow. It wasn't even hard to find." Sigh... he was SO disappointed. (this time there was no tooth, because the cup it was in, was on the counter, and it met it's fate with the garbage disposal. go mommy.)

Sleep Training isn't just for babies.

My 13 month old has had the sleep habits of a poorly sleeping newborn since very early on. In the NICU she was fed every 3 hours, everything on schedule, etc. But once home, we were on demand, co-sleeping, AP, anything to keep her happy parenting. She had lots of ear infections, she finally got tubes around 10 months (not that those helped her sleeping, as we'd all hoped, but they did fix her ears). She also needed to nurse all night to sleep, ALL night, literally. Don't pity me, I created the monster, I own it.

As much as I was tired, I LOVED snuggling my sweet, nursing baby all night. In the beginning, her feet curled up into me, under her tummy, and she'd get lost looking for food. She'd squirm until I helped her. As she grew, her legs stretched out more, and she was completely aware that she was laying snuggled up to her Mommy. She knew I'd be there, and was dependable. As was her endless supply of milk. Most recently, she's taken to doing what we don't even call "nursing" anymore - we renamed it "chillin' on the boob". Because she obviously didn't *need* to eat all night. But she'd latch and remain. If she woke up and wasn't attached to me (literally) mass panic would ensue. This happened maybe 10-15 times a night. I was awake more than I slept. But still.. I loved her snuggly self, so warm and sweet. So tiny and needy.

When we talked about sleep, my pediatrician said that I'd be ready to sleep train, when I was at the point where I was just ready to sleep train. That was so true. Last week, I remember stumbling around with Cece, looking for ibuprofen at 4a, and near tears after being up ALL night. And that was when I'd reached the point where I knew I was ready. I'm pretty sure she was ready from maybe 6+ months.

I've been doing my modified version of sleep-training. It's the version best suited for Mommies that can't bear to hear a cry, are super weak for the sad baby, and don't mind the process taking days, weeks, months even. I know I could do a "rip the bandaid off" approach, but that's not my style, and certainly not Cece's. I go in often, I don't let her fuss more than a minute. Yep, no more than ONE minute. But guess what? It's working. There's progress each night, each nap, each time I go in. I stretch her out further, I space nursing, I limit the time I stay. I never get her out of the crib unless it's mealtime. But my method is working. Maybe I'll write a book about it. People are addicted to baby books.

So anyway. The point of this is - this isn't just about Cece. As excited as I am about the prospect of STTN (sleeping through the night, for those not obsessed with sleep.), I already miss her. The first night, I looked sadly at her spot in the bed, wanting to go snatch her out of her crib and curl up against her. There's no baby to build a pillow barrier for, just in case she tries to roll out. There's no sharp bite in the middle of the night, when she's grinding her teeth in her sleep. No baby rolling herself right over my face. You know, because that's comfortable to 13mth old girl babies. I miss ALL of those things.

I know my baby is a giant would-be-a-toddler-if-she'd-put-any-effort-into-walking 13 month old Cece. But in the dark of the night, in the rocking chair with lots of blankets keeping us warm, with not even a nightlight to see her face, my Boo is still my tiny baby, my itsy bitsy little baby.

I guess I have to learn how to sleep without her. See? Sleep training isn't just for babies.